It has been almost 2 weeks since injections began and just over a week since transfer day.  So let me walk you through this part of the journey.

Ketan comes home from work a few days before transfer with a gift bag.  He hands it to me and it is an IVF care package.  One of Ketan’s colleagues that has become a dear friend sent it home for me.  It had baby booties that said — keep your eye on the prize.  It had lucky socks for me to wear on the day of transfer, snacks to reward myself after the injections each night.  A pack of home pregnancy test just in case I could not wait for the blood test, a magazine for the day I had to be on bed rest.  And most of all a kind note empathizing with our journey since she had walked the same path.  Truly a priceless gesture that makes me thankful for being so open about this process.

Tuesday, October 4 we checked in for the transfer procedure — looking our best:  no makeup, lotions, shampoo, soap, fragrance of any kind etc.  Apparently any of these products can damage the embryo during the procedure.  But why is it that my husband can get dressed in his casual digs and still look amazing despite these products and me on the other hand looks like a frumpy, hippie that just woke up from a Grateful Dead concert.  Ugh — its tough to be a woman!

We are taken back to the IVF surgical suite and I am given a sedative and told to change into the gown.  But let me paint the whole picture for you — the procedure is done with a full bladder.  So here I am am looking like a frumpy concert goer, now with the sedative I am getting groggy and bloated because I have to pee!

The doctor comes in to review the procedure and the embryologist follows with our first baby picture.  Pure emotion is all I can describe.  There it is in black and white; the embryo.  She starts describing which part will develop into the baby and which part becomes the placenta.  We are almost speechless and in awe of this process.  So now its time to go, the doctor jokes and says “you will never have this many people with you again when you get pregnant.”  True doc, that is very true!

The surgical suite is the same I have had for the other procedures.  Dark, a bit chilly and small.  This time Ketan is dressed in scrubs and right by my side; a comforting change from the last procedures.  So they get me prepped and the doctor does a practice run.  The whole time Ketan and I are watching the procedure on the ultrasound monitor near my head.  Emotional and again speechless.

A few minutes later the embryologist comes in the room with the embryo and you feel the energy in the room get very tense and serious — this is it!  On this dark black and white screen you see the catheter release the embryo and its like fireworks. Yes, it looks like a little twinkle on the screen.  The embryo is surrounded by a solution that has tiny bubbles.  So when it is released you are watching for this little fireworks display.  It was truly magical; and I am crying as I type these words.  How many people can watch themselves get pregnant?  Okay, I know, a little odd — but truly breathtaking.

They wheel me back to the recovery room and now I get to pee — thank God!  But I look at the nurse and say, “is it okay, is it safe.”  She looks at me with this Bless Her Heart kind of look and Ketan pipes up and laughs that I don’t pee out of my uterus and the embryo can’t fall out.  Lets just blame that brain lapse episode on the sedative they gave me before the procedure!

We go home and I sleep off the drugs and rest as directed by the doctor.  That was easy the first day, because that sedative really worked!  But the days after have been really difficult.  Ketan left for a business trip on Thursday morning and was gone all weekend.  This left the nightly injections up to my nurse friend across the street.  This worked great until she had plans one night and would not get home until later.  So thankfully another neighbor who is a PA came to the rescue and came over to deliver the 9m shot!  A humbling experience and a grateful heart to the many people that are playing a role in this journey.  IVF takes a village and I am thankful for those on the journey with us.

We are now to present day and it is Raina’s second birthday.  This is a day that reminds me of one miracle and makes me feel incredibly full.  I am having some symptoms but remember, I am also jacked up on a ton of hormones so it is hard to tell the difference between pregnancy symptoms and the drug effects.  And for the moms out there you know that when you Google early pregnancy symptoms, they are exactly the same symptoms as PMS — so who really knows!  The doctor says that we can take a home pregnancy test tomorrow but not sure I can emotionally handle it.  So we will celebrate with our family this weekend and enjoy Raina’s second birthday.

The official blood test is scheduled for Tuesday, October 18 at 7:30am.  Results should be back sometime later that afternoon.  Until then, we will wait, pray and surround ourselves with the entire village.